


in which (the) winter (soldier) is coming

by janie_tangerine



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Captain America (Movies), Game of Thrones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (no one you'll miss), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bets & Wagers, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Dimension Travel, Idiots in Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Multi, Not Age of Ultron Compliant, Past Torture, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Rescue Missions, even if involuntary, people this is just crack go with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4205178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>where, thanks to the latest mad scientist villain of the week, Bucky Barnes (and the entire Avengers team after him) ends up in Westeros.</p>
<p>Also, where Tony Stark realizes that Steve/Bucky and Robb/Theon are pretty much the same ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueenWithABeeThrone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenWithABeeThrone/gifts).



> I wrote this for two separate tumblr prompts a while ago - the first was 'Bucky meeting Theon', the second was a generic sequel request for that fic. So chapter one is the original, the second is the sequel where everyone else shows up. This kinda merges up show canon and book canon in the sense that the scene Bucky ends up in is from show canon (3x07), the rest all goes according to book canon.
> 
> Warnings: Bucky shows up during a fairly not nice torture session that you already guessed by the episode number above. He's also not particularly nice about it so mind the casual violence and killing of Bolton red shirts. (And the minor character death but I guess all of you have worked out who is it.) The rest is all straight up crack.
> 
> Also, I wrote this after Cap II but before Age of Ultron so just assume that the latter movie hasn't happened and that Steve found Bucky a short while after Cap II. Half of what happens in chapter two is to blame on people on tumblr who totally went and threw headcanons at me after I wrote that first fic.

  
Bucky  _really_  should have sat this one out.

He should have done that the moment Hill debriefed them and said the words  _insane AIM scientist who thinks he can travel in between dimensions_.

He might have done it if only they weren’t four people short – Clint and Natasha are out on some secret op fuck knows where and Thor is with Jane somewhere in Europe, and Tony has a broken leg from the last time Doom decided to unleash bots all over Central Park, so while Steve had reassured him that he didn’t need to come, well, he wasn’t going to let him go when the only back up was the Hulk. Not that Bucky has any problem with  _that_ , but the Hulk hardly could cover Steve’s back stealthily.

Of course the crazy scientist had to aim his stupid weapon on  _him_ , though, and the only reasons why he’s not panicking the hell out as everything around him turns to black are that he has two bonafide geniuses on his team and that he knows Steve probably would use that damned weapon on himself to join him if they can’t figure anything out.

And wherever he ends up, he can take care of himself.

Still, he really should have sat this one out, he thinks, and then the black veil lifts and –

“What the  _fuck_?” He doesn’t even think before he speaks, but what the hell is a guy supposed to do when he finds himself in some kind of creepy medieval torture room castle in front of a scene that would make those Tarantino movies Tony is so fond of look like kindergarten material?

Well, as far as he’s concerned, when you end up in a room reeking of sex, where some  _naked_ guy is being held to the ground by four other people, one of them with a knife in their hands, there’s nothing good about it.

The moment after he says it, two half-naked girls who had been standing in the corner start screaming, the guy with the knife shouts something at the other guards and they instantly take out swords before lounging at him.

_Really._ Swords?

Bucky doesn’t even bother rolling his eyes – he grabs his gun from the back of his pants and shoots the four of them in the head before they can even get close.

The girls scream again and run out of the room, but he doesn’t pay attention to them – even if they warn someone, who cares. If he really ended up in the Middle Ages, he highly doubts he has anything to worry about, not when he arrived here with three guns and a sniper rifle tossed over his back, all of them fully loaded.

He heads straight for the guy with the knife and closes his left hand around his throat lifting him up – when the creep looks down at him as if he’s completely terrified, Bucky doesn’t even blink. Serves him right.

“Where are we?”

“What?” The guy croaks.

“Do you think I want to repeat myself?  _What is this place_. You have three seconds to answer.”

“The Dreadfort!”

The  _what_?”

“Where is this Dreadfort?”

“The north – Westeros. Yes, Westeros.”

_Great_ , Bucky thinks. It’s obvious the creep isn’t lying, and he’d know if any place like Westeros existed on Earth.

Alternative dimensions.

He  _hates_  this crap.

Now, what the hell should he do?

He turns back and looks at the other poor guy who was being held on the floor, who’s looking straight at the two of them as if he’s scared out of his mind. Except – he also looks… sort of awed? The look is aimed at him, though, not at the creep.

“Hey, you.”

The guy tries to force himself to go still, but he’s still shaking like a leaf.

Bucky glances around the area and – uh. He hadn’t seen the cross standing against the wall. Now that he notices, the entire room stinks of blood. And sex. And a lot of other things he doesn’t like at all.

Then he sees that the naked guy doesn’t have one of his fingers anymore.

“Right. Is  _he_  the reason why you’re a finger short? I wouldn’t lie, if I were you.”

The guy looks downwards and nods once, curtly.

Bucky recognizes the body language even too well – he can recognize it because  _he_  spent a good two months looking like that after fishing Steve out of the river and finding him again not long later, and while he was recalling exactly everything that went on since he fell off a train in Europe. Well. After Steve found him, but that’s not the point.

“Seems like this ain’t your lucky day,” Bucky says, turning towards the creep, and – right. He had sworn to himself he wouldn’t ever kill someone who wasn’t a certified bad guy the moment he felt like he had pulled himself together enough to think clearly, but he’s pretty sure this person would fall under the radar, and he has no time to waste in this dump.

He throws the guy against the wall without even trying to restrain himself – he goes unconscious immediately, and blood starts pouring from the side of his head.

Good enough – if he doesn’t die, all gained for him. If he does, well, Bucky doubts he’s going to show up during his night terrors at any point soon. There’s a long line before him, that’s for sure.

There’s a pair of pants thrown over the side of some kind of sofa in the middle of the room. Bucky sighs and leans down, then throws them at the naked guy on the floor.

He does grab them, and then he turns cautiously to his side, looking at Bucky like he honestly has no clue of what to do with him.

“Well, put them on,” Bucky says after a moment.

The guy swallows and does, and his balance falters when he stands up.

Bucky reaches out and grabs his arm to steady him, and the guy goes stiff at once.

“Listen, I know what you’re thinking right now, and I’d like to have a talk about it, but I’m pretty sure that people will be here soon. Or not?”

“No. They will,” the guy finally says.

Bucky should really urge him to hurry up, but – fuck knows he can’t. Not when the guy has a look to his eyes that Bucky recognizes from having seen it in his own mirror for too long.

“If I ask you if you’re all right, I guess you’ll answer no, will you?”

The guy’s eyes go wide as he laces the pants with shaking hands. “Uh. No, I’m –”

“Save it, of course you’re not. I guess that’s all the clothing you had, right?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I –”

“Don’t even,” Bucky sighs, and then goes towards one of the dead guards, grabs their cloak, takes off their shoes and hands everything over. “Here. Put this thing on. And can you answer a few questions for me?”

“Of – of course.” The guy is quick putting on the cloak, holding on to it as if someone might take it at any moment.

“Right. What’s your name?”

“Theon,” the guy answers, sitting back down on the bed.

“Theon. Okay. Now, are you a prisoner here?”

Theon gives him a curt nod.

“Great. And this place is named  _Westeros._ ”

“It is. But – how you – if I can ask –”

“It’s fucking complicated. I can try and explain it, but I think we should probably get outta here first.”

“ _We_?”

“Well, you don’t look like you want to stay much longer.”

“I don’t, but – you don’t have to –”

“I really think I do. There are guards outside, I guess.”

“Yes.”

Bucky goes to the room’s only window and opens it. Well, it’s not  _that_  big of a fall. Definitely less than between a burning helicarrier and the Potomac, for one.

“Fine. Listen, believe me when I say I  _know_  you probably don’t want anyone touching you right now, but I really need you not to move.”

“What –” Theon starts and never finishes. Bucky puts an arm under his knees and lifts him up, then heads for the window.

“Hold on for a moment,” he says, and then he jumps down the window.

He falls down on both feet and really, it doesn’t hurt that much – the moment he’s standing, he lets Theon go. Theon takes a couple steps back and looks at him in a way that makes Bucky feel slightly uncomfortable, because he thinks he’s seen seven year olds look at Steve like that when they recognize him in the middle of the road, and that’s  _not_  a look anyone directs to him as a general rule.

“I suppose that to get away you need horses, right?”

“How else would you get away?” Theon replies, and then promptly bites his tongue. “I’m sorry, I didn’t –”

“As far as you’re concerned  _I_ ’m the one asking dumb questions, don’t worry. Shit.  _Horses_. Guy couldn’t have just sent me to the seventies or something,” Bucky sighs. And he can’t even afford to leave this place, especially if someone from his team comes back for him and they appear in that room upstairs.

“I guess I’ll have to go big on this,” Bucky sighs.

“You – you’ll have to do what? And – sorry, how should I call you?”

_Right._  Of course.

“I’m James,” he answers, figuring that if this is the middle ages no one is gonna be named anything like  _Bucky._  “And I need you to answer a few more questions for me, if you can.”

“Of – of course. What do you need?”

“That creep upstairs. Was he… the lord of this castle or whatever the fuck it is?”

“Uh. Well. Technically it’s his father, but his father’s not here. So. Yes.”

“Right. And is father is?”

“Fighting a war,” Theon replies, looking even more pained.

“So I suppose that most of his men aren’t here right now?”

“I guess not,” Theon agrees. "I haven’t seen that many around, but surely there’s not just the serving staff in the castle.”

“Good. It’s going to make it a lot quicker.”

“Make  _what_  a lot quicker?”

Bucky shrugs. “Some friends will hopefully come and get me, so I can’t go far. And you don’t look like you can’t either. So I guess I’m going to conquer myself a fucking castle.”

“You –  _what_?”

Bucky smirks and grabs his rifle from his back. “Just watch me.”

\--

If anything, he’s definitely going to brag about this when he gets home. Because he’s pretty sure not even Thor can say that he  _conquered himself a castle in fifteen minutes_ , bless his guns and the last upgrade Tony made to his arm – the moment he used it to shoot at someone’s feet, no one had tried to put on any resistance.

And it might be the Middle Ages, but the food isn’t half bad.

Theon sits in front of him at the long, empty table in the main hall and looks down at his food as if he’s making this up.

“Is this – I mean, are you sure?”

“Do I look like I endorse torturing people? Eat up, you need it. And no one’s taking that from you.”

“How do you know –”

“I’ve been there,” he replies, eating more of his stew. “Really. It might not look like it, but I’ve been there. Just go for it. Then I guess I could explain you how I ended up here – I have time to kill until my friends get there. And if you want to tell me how the hell you ended up like this, knock yourself out. As long as I’m around this stupid place I might as well help out.”

“I don’t think you’ll want to when you hear it,” Theon replies quietly before digging into his food.

Bucky laughs.

“Believe me, I think I will want to,” Bucky replies, and he doesn’t know what seals the deal but Theon looks at him  _that way_  again and then gives him a tiny nod and goes back to his food.

Bucky doesn’t press for more information – there’s time. And hey, at least he’s keeping himself busy – if he ends up doing some good while he’s in this completely insane godforsaken place, even better.


	2. Chapter 2

So, thing is, when Tony had heard the guy Barnes managed to befriend while  _conquering himself a castle_ , whatshisname, right,  _Theon_ , talk about this Robb Stark person, he might have thought,  _well fuck, this guy sounds like the medieval Steve Rogers minus the serum_. But then he had really just stopped thinking about it and had started worrying about the whole rescue mission thing.

Because  _obviously_  they couldn’t just go back home. No, the moment they managed to do the whole dimension-travel thing, and fuck but it had taken him and Bruce a  _lot_  to replicate that machine, it turned out that all of Steve’s worries had been unfounded. Not only his precious best friend turned deadly assassin was perfectly fine, but he had conquered a castle, befriended another on-the-road-to-brainwashed case, killed a couple psychos and declared that they had to stage a rescue and fix things before they left. Because apparently Theon’s best friend was about to get killed in some treacherous wedding and shit, and at that point of course Steve had said they’d do that, or what kind of  _Avengers_  they were.

Tony had just gone along with that part of the plan, which had been ‘mind the two hostages that one of the psychopath guys had while Thor goes to some place named King’s Landing and rescues Robb Stark’s sister’, and to be entirely honest he was perfectly fine with it - out of the two hostages, at least one had a decent sense of humor. The other one - the woman, Brienne, had looked up at the sky and said  _not another one_ , but hey, Tony had to admit that she was pretty amazing, going around with that armor without giving a shit about people looking wrong at her.

But he hadn’t expected  _this_  to happen.

And with  _this_ , he doesn’t mean Bruce destroying half of a castle on his own before starting to be a gentleman with Robb Stark’s  _mom,_  because of course  _Bruce_  would be the one doing that even if by all means he should have passed out after  _destroying a castle._  He doesn’t even mean Clint and Natasha terrorizing every backstabber they haven’t killed yet - he’d have counted on that. He doesn’t even mean Thor landing in between them just after they had secured the premises with a pretty little redhead clinging to his neck who turned out to be Sansa Stark.

“Your Grace, we really should kill them all,” one of Robb Stark’s men had said.

“No, it’s not - I mean, we should get information first, but that would be sinking to their level. I want them to have a fair trial. I don’t want to be  _like them_ ,” the kid had answered. And then -

"With all due respect, I think he’s right,” Steve had said, stepping in. “Going straight for vengeance like this? It never ends well.”

The other lord had shut up, since well,  _Steve_  had been the one doing most of the planning and the work during the actual disruption of the wedding, and he probably isn’t suicidal enough to challenge that kind of guy.

But from then, hell had broken loose. Sort of metaphorically.

“You’re saying that you came up with  _that_  plan at  _fifteen_?” Steve is asking Robb - they’re discussing some battle named Whispering Wood or  _something_ , and he sounds plenty impressed.

"He did,” Jaime mutters from Tony’s side. “I  _felt_  it.”

"Well, yes?” Robb answers.

“Why then, that’s damn impressive,” Steve replies, looking like he  _is_  in fact impressed, and it’s not like the guy could ever lie worth a damn.

“It really wasn’t -”

“Kid, he’s not trying to flatter you. He always was like that too, except that it took him a lot longer than that to get to lead an army,” Barnes interrupts. “And I always had to step in and make sure he didn’t go kill himself.”

Robb glances guiltily at Theon, who in turn looks in the opposite direction. Barnes stares at Theon’s back, then at Robb.

“Let me guess, he had your back, didn’t he?”

“He still has it, if he stops feeling guilty about - well.  _About_.”

At that, Theon visibly flinches, but then he turns back to Robb, looking sort of hopeful, and Steve sends Barnes  _exactly the same kind of look,_ and -

"Oh,  _no_ ,” Tony says. “No. That can’t be possible. It can’t be happening. I can’t fucking believe it.”

"Well, looks like I was right back when we went to Winterfell,” Jaime says then.

“Sorry, what?” Brienne asks.

“Wench, I thought those two were screwing after two seconds of seeing them interact. Looks like your friends here are as well.” _  
_

“They’re not,” Tony groans.

“Sorry?”

“You mean Steve and Bucky over there? Nah. They’ve been dancing around each other for months, but they  _aren’t_  screwing.”

“ _My son_  and Theon aren’t either.”

Tony  _almost_  jumps at that.

"What the  _fuck_ ,” he says when he finds himself face to face with - with Robb’s mother and Bruce, who’s covering himself with her shawl and looking like he’s about to pass out.

"They weren’t. Even if at times I thought they were about to.” What’s her name,  _Catelyn_ , right, sounds half sorry about it and half… regretful? Tony doesn’t know. He doesn’t even want to know.

“Excuse me,” he says, “does that mean that not only those four are pretty much - the same fucking people, but they  _still_  aren’t doing it?”

Catelyn goes red in the face, Bruce rolls his eyes and the foursome just over there keeps on being entirely oblivious. Especially now that Robb is clutching at his sister and Thor is saying something about being so very touched to see two siblings being finally reunited and all that jazz.

Tony needs ten drinks.

And then he decides that since it’s obvious that they need to make sure that the situation here is stable before they go back to New York, he might as well make the most out of it.

"What kind of money you use in this godforsaken universe?”

“Gold or silver pieces?” Brienne answers tentatively.

“Fine. Ten of your  _gold_ _pieces_  that before we have to leave Steve fesses up to Barnes, then he goes give Robb over there some star-spangled patriotic advice and gets his - his  _universe twin_ or something to fess up to Theon.”

"What are you -”

“I’m betting twenty that the one with the weird arm fesses up to your leader first, then  _he_  gives young Stark over there a piece of his mind and  _then_  Stark stops stalling with Greyjoy.”

"Lannister, are  _you_  betting about my son’s -” Catelyn starts.

“‘Course I am. Looks like I’m back being your prisoner and I might as well get some money out of that,  _my lady_.”

"Why,  _that’s_  the spirit!” Tony cheers. “Fine. Twenty for you. But when I win -“

"Don’t worry, we always pay our debts.”

“Fifteen gold pieces that you’re both wrong.”

“ _Natasha_? Where the hell were you?”

Natasha, who was  _not_  behind Tony five seconds ago, shrugs while she keeps one of the Frey people in a pretty damn tight choke hold.

“Steve isn’t  _ever_  going to figure that out first even if by now he should know better. And James still has too many guilt trips. Robb Stark fesses up first, then Theon goes and tells James about it and  _then_  James fesses up.”

Then she throws a bag of money at Tony.

"Where did you -” He doesn’t even finish the sentence - she’s already left. “I’ll never adjust to that. Okay then. Fifteen for her, twenty for you, Lannister, that’s a  _good_  bet -“

"Five that  _Theon_  lets it slip without meaning to and there’s a tearful touching moment, Barnes witnesses it and fesses up.”

"Barton, how the fuck did you  _drop out of the sky when there isn’t even a fucking tree around here_?”

"Why would I tell you my secrets, Tony? Take note!”

And then he leaves with another two Freys on choke hold after throwing Tony another small bag obviously containing some gold pieces.

Christ, he’s housing some seriously scary people.

And then -

“The Lady Sansa and I would like to join your wager,” Thor says amiably from behind him.

Sansa is next to him and looks entirely fucking  _smitten_  with him. And then fine, she throws herself at her mother, but still, Tony would like to know what’s going on with  _Thor_.

“You would.”

“Indeed. She noticed what you did not long after we landed.”

“Right. So what’s it for the two of you?”

“We shall bet thirty pieces that her brother will be the one disclosing his feelings first after Steve’s advice, but Steve will  _not_  have followed his own advice first.”

"Right. So Steve tells Robb to go for it without having told Barnes himself?”

“Indeed.  _Then_  Robb shall go to the Soldier of Winter and tell him that Steve feels the same. She says she knows her brother too well for it to go any other way.”

"If you’re betting  _thirty_  I should think she’s sure of that. Fine then.”

"Tony, seriously,  _no._ ”

At that, everyone turns towards Bruce, who’s still covering himself in Catelyn’s shawl and trying to hold up his tattered trousers while leaning against a tree and looking as if he’s about to pass out.

"No, what?”

“Bucky isn’t  _that_  fucking oblivious. He’s just guilt-tripping. But just look at him. He’s figured that out already. I’m betting you  _forty_  gold pieces that before this day is over first he goes to Robb and tells him to stop being the same kind of idiot that Steve is, then waits for the two of them to fess up,  _then_  goes and fesses up to Steve.”

"How are you so sure of that? And  _before the day is over_?”

"I wouldn’t be betting you forty pieces if I wasn’t sure, would I?” And then his hand goes to his trousers’ pocket and throws another bag at Tony.

“Well, one of the guys I beat up had it in their cloak,” Bruce says, shrugging.

At that point, Sam lands down - at least he makes himself heard.

“Aerial recognition says everything is under control. By the way, Stark, you’re fucking insane. And I’m throwing my lot with Bruce here. Sign another twenty pieces for me.”

“Guys, what are you all talking about?”

Tony doesn’t know how everyone manages to keep a straight face when they turn and see Steve, Bucky, Robb and Theon lined up behind them. Theon is looking at Robb like he’s the sun or some fucking corny metaphor, Robb is staring at Steve as if he’s finally found the proof that the world isn’t filled with snakes out to get everyone else, Bucky is looking at Steve so fondly it’s a miracle Steve hasn’t figured it out already and no, really, this is all too fucking much.

“… Nothing really. How about we tie prisoners up, drag them all to some handy dungeon and call it a day? Because I could eat. Damn. I can’t even buy anyone shawarma, what the fuck. I hate the Middle Ages, didn’t I ever say that?”

Steve rolls his eyes, Bucky glances at Theon as if you’d glance at your younger brother and Robb tells Theon that  _really_  after this they really can move on, and Tony thinks that the Twilight Zone had absolutely nothing on  _this._

(The next day, Bruce and Sam are one hundred and forty pieces of gold richer. Tony accuses Bruce of cheating because of  _course_  he’d know, he did spend his fair time teaching Bucky the wonders of yoga and meditation and shit, and Bruce amiably answers that Tony could have asked first while counting out his money and high-fiving Sam.

Tony wants to feel outraged, then he glances at the four lovebirds having finally fessed up and decides that it’s not worth it. But damn, he needs to book an appointment with his dental hygienist the moment he’s back in New York. His teeth are fucking rotting.)

 

End.


End file.
